The Dreaded Word
by jeffysquint
Summary: Brennan comes in late one day, distracted and distant, and having told no one where she was that morning.   I know, sounds stupid, but give it a chance?


So I saw someone talk about a fanfiction that they wrote, I don't remember who it was, but it got me thinking, and I had to write this down. It's set over the course of one day. Booth and Brennan.

Tell me what you think(:

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. One day I'll get over that.**

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><p>"Bones! Where were you?"<p>

He strode into her office, case file in hand.

"Must I give you my itinerary every day?" Her tone was sharp.

"No. I just… nevermind," he said, backing off quickly. "You ready?"

"I think I'll just stay here at the lab thanks. Tell me if you find the rest of the remains."

"Bones I'm gonna go interrogate the ex girlfriend. Don't you want to come?"

"No Booth I'm fine. I have some research to do here."

"Reasearch? For what? Don't you already know everything?" He smiled in a dorkish manner, egging her on.

"No human being could possibly remember everything there is to know Booth. Even you should know that. And while I am one of the smartest people in the world, I am not arrogant enough to believe that I know everything. Why would you ask such things?"

"I was kidding, Bones. It was a joke."

"Oh. Well, I didn't find it very amusing."

"I'll try to make it funnier next time. Now will you please come?"

"No. I already said that. I have many things to do here."

"Now _that_is impossible. Yesterday you were begging me to let you tag along because you had nothing better to do and the case hasn't moved much since then. Come on!"

"How many times am I going to have to say no before you leave? Because this is quickly becoming a large waste of time that could be better spent devoting my vast knowledge to things here in my office."

"Alright fine. Tell me if you find anything?"

"Of course."

He turned to walk out, but hesitated by the door.

"You okay Bones?"

She swung her head dramatically in his direction, eyes rolling before fixing on him.

"_Fine,_Booth."

He stood there for a moment longer, then shrugged and left. If she was going to be difficult, he would have to deal with that later.

~/~

He came back around lunch, drinks in one hand and a bag of Thai food in the other.

"Lunch?"

She shrugged, eyes attached to the computer screen in front of her.

"Have you eaten?" he asked.

"No."

"Thai food it is then." He smiled and bounced into her office, setting all of it down on her desk.

She didn't respond when he sat down in front of her and began to unload the boxes. He ripped the paper off of the straws and stuck them into her water and into his soda. He took the napkins and the chopsticks out of the bag too and laid some near her before slouching back into one of the chairs that faced her desk. And still her focus on the bright screen did not waiver.

"You know Bones, you should really invest in some comfier chairs. These ones kill my back."

"Mmmm."

"I mean, you know how often I sit in these. Can't you go find something comfier than these darn plastic things?"

He shifted back and forth in an attempt to get comfortable, but slouched when every position failed him.

"Bones? Earth to Bones?"

She looked up and blinked several times, trying to get her eyes to focus properly.

"Earth to me?"

"Yeah, you know… like, you were spacing out. So I was telling you to come back to the real world."

"This is the real world. And I wasn't spacing out, I was reading."

He stood and leaned over her desk to peer at her computer screen.

"What are you looking at anyway?"

She exited out before he could get a good look.

"Reading, not looking. I'm not watching movies. And it isn't anything important."

"Must have been important since you were staring at it like your life depended on it. Does it have to do with the case?"

The color had dropped from her face before he even finished speaking.

"No."

"What?"

"What?"

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing Booth, we went over this already."

~/~

After lunch he finally managed to get her to come with him out to a suspect's house. It was the victim's brother, and their house was close to where the top half of the victim's remains had been found. He knew she wouldn't be able to resist the possibility that the rest of her bones might be there, and so he milked that last part eagerly, waiting for her to give in to his pleas. And sure enough, she did. Her curiosity won and soon they were both in his car, speeding off towards the outskirts of town.

It was a quiet ride. If the day hadn't already been a weird one, he may not even have noticed. She was usually pretty reserved when her mind was back at the lab, but today was different. They hardly exchanged a word, and when they did, he had to initiate the conversation and her answers remained short and her eyes remained aloof, focusing on the long road ahead of them.

"Bones are you even listening to me?"

"Yes, of course. Do you need me to repeat what you've said? We're going to visit the brother and his wife, Mark and Erica Hamblek. They have two sons, Stephen and Henry. The victim, Richard Hamblek, was found approximately 2 miles away from their house, back behind their property. Did I get everything?"

"Yeah… I guess you did. Ready?"

"Yes, Booth. Stop looking at me like that."

They exited the car and walked up to the front steps.

~/~

Mark Hamblek led Booth and Brennan through the house, heading for the dining room so that they could talk more properly. He was a pretty good sized man, maybe an inch or two over six foot, with strong arms and a little bit of a belly.

"I was devastated when I found out. Me and Rick have grown apart over the years, but we never fought or anything so we were still on good terms. Saw each other maybe once a month, got the kids together, you know? Wanted to make sure they knew their cousins."

"When was the last time you saw your brother, Mr. Hamblek?" Booth looked back at Bones, who was silently following him, her eyes scanning the house for clues of anything odd.

"About 2 weeks ago? Hmm… I'm not really sure. Lemme ask my wife. Hey Erica!"

A voice came from the next room. They stopped in the kitchen, and Booth looked back to make sure that Brennan was still with him. She wasn't participating in the conversation and he kept forgetting that she was even there.

"Yeah?"

"When did we go to dinner with Rick? Was that two weekends ago?"

Erica poked her head around the corner. She was a skinny little thing, her cheekbones prominent on her face and her collarbones framing her neck with purpose. A silk scarf was wrapped around her head and hung down her back. Her forehead wrinkled in thought and confusion, although when Booth looked closer he noticed her lack of eyebrows.

"No, I think that was three weekends ago. Because it was right before Stephen's big game remember? And then the weekend after that we went up north for that doctor's appointment. And then last weekend your mother came and took the boys out for most of Saturday."

Mr. Hamblek turned back to them with a smile.

"Sorry, three weeks ago. She keeps it all straight better than I do. When was Rick killed?"

"We're not 100% sure yet, but we believe that he died sometime between last Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. We're still narrowing it down. Dr. Brennan and her team are the best."

He gestured back behind him, pointing towards where Bones had been the last time he had looked back.

"Umm… sir. Where'd your lady partner go?"

"Huh? What?" Booth didn't comprehend the words at first as he scribbled something down onto a pad of paper. But they hit him soon after and his head jerked around, scanning the room for her.

"Bones! Hey Bones! Where'd you go?"

Nobody answered.

"Bones!"

Both men were looking towards the door they had come through when the sound of the front door shutting reached their ears.

"Bones?" His voice traveled up an octave, worry slipping into it. "Hang on," he said to Mr. Hamblek, gesturing towards the door, "I'll just be a minute."

~/~

He opened the front door and began to run to the car only to have his eyes miss her completely and then almost trip over her. She was sitting on the bottom step of the whitewashed stairs that lead to the front door. Her arms were around her knees, hands clasped together in front. Her face looked out towards the street and slightly downwards, as though she was staring at the sidewalk in front of her feet.

"Bones?" he said softly, scared of what he might find if she turned her face to look at him.

He needn't worry however, because she continued to stare straight ahead, as silent as ever.

"Bones, you wanna tell me what's going on?"

She shrugged just like she had earlier, but this time the movement made his heart clench a little. He came up next to her, and sat one step above her. This would put him close to her, but still give her the privacy of not showing her face.

"Did you finish talking to the brother?"

Her voice didn't waiver, and he took that as a good sign.

"No, I didn't. I came out to see where you had run off too."

"I… I needed some air. Wasn't feeling very well." She took a deep breath in, and let it out with a sigh, letting her shoulders droop just a little bit more.

"Did you recognize the wife?"

"What? No. No, I didn't."

"Then what's up Bones? You've been acting pretty weird since this morning."

She shrugged for a third time that day, but didn't answer his question. He sat there and stared at the back of her gently curled auburn locks that were shining ever so slightly in the sun.

"Where were you this morning?"

She looked back at him, and he came to wish that she actually had been crying. Because the face she had on was so much worse. Her eyebrows were arched with worry and her clear blue eyes shot through him with a look of panic. Her mouth hung the slightest bit open as though she was going to say something, before she closed it and pressed her soft lips together. Seconds passed and they continued to stare into each other's eyes. She bit her lip and cast her eyes down to his tie. Then she resumed to looking forward and into space again, leaving him once again blind to whatever her emotions might be.

"I had an appointment," she let out with a quick breath, not leaving any space between words.

Something clicked in Booth's head, but he decided to try to pull the full answer out of her.

"A doctor's appointment?"

"Yeah."

"For?"

"Me."

"No Bones, not _who _was it for, _what _was it for."

"Oh. They had to tell me the results of my mammogram."

Booth's breath hitched. The wife, her scarf, her lack of hair… it meant only one thing.

Her head turned, but not back to his face. Instead, her eyes rested on his brightly striped socks that poked out from beneath his black slacks and became visible whenever he sat down.

"It's probably nothing. But it's best that they're sure, I suppose."

He slipped down to the stair right next to her.

"Hey, Bones, it's gonna be okay."

"I'm fine Booth. There really isn't anything to worry about. Like I said, probably nothing. They said this happens all the time and it doesn't mean anything."

"It's okay to be scared, you know."

"I'm not scared." She turned her face away from him pointedly. Her voice was determined, but he was attentive enough to notice that it was certainly higher than usual.

~/~

The drive back home was less silent than the drive up, but it was undoubtedly more awkward. She tried to make small talk, knowing that silence would only make him worry more. And she didn't want him to worry. She hadn't even wanted him to know. But, like always, he managed to see through her thick exterior and pull it out of her like no one else could. So, she made small talk.

She asked about Parker and his new teacher. She asked about his back and if he was seeing anyone for it. She asked about the broken washing machine he had complained about just last week. But his answers stayed short, just like hers had during that same morning. He kept sneaking glances of her face, obviously attempting to read what she was thinking. His glances, however, weren't as secret as he would have hoped.

"Could you watch the road please?"

"I am watching the road!"

"You're spending more time looking at me than the road. Stop it. I'm fine."

"But Bones-"

"Booth, seriously, there is nothing to talk about. Stop thinking about it. Just let it go. I'm fine, and it's probably nothing."

He looked at her for longer this time, not even trying to hide the obvious worry in his face. His eyes zoomed around her body, taking in the sight of her slumped shoulders, rounded spine, and tilted head, before coming to rest on her face. Her strong, beautiful face. Her jaw was firmly set in determination but all he noticed was the way it made the light shine off of her cheekbones. The eyes that rarely betrayed her with tears were still dry but flickered with anxiety. She still believed that she could hide these things from him, but he knew better.

When neither of them responded after several seconds, he turned his attention back to the road, trying to let the humdrum troubles of driving consume him.

~/~

It was around eight that evening when he came striding through the lab towards her office. He carried a file in his hand as an excuse to come see how she was doing. There was nothing new on the case, and she would probably see right through that file to his ulterior motives, but he didn't care. He had to make sure that at the very least, she had eaten and would get home safely.

He waved to Cam who was on her way out, and she gave him a knowing look that made him more nervous. The rest of the lab was silent, and as he approached her office, all he heard was the sound of his footsteps. But soon the light flutter of her voice was audible, and he slowed, quieting the sound of his shoes as they hit the dark floor. He listened for another voice, but heard only hers. Stopping at the door to listen, he noticed that her back was to him and a phone was pressed to her ear.

"Okay. Yeah, I understand. Yes, thank you."

Her voice was small, maybe smaller than he'd ever heard it before. It wasn't high, or skittish, just small. Not anything like the usually confident one that marked her as one of the most dominating women anyone had ever met.

She removed the phone from her ear, and put it down on her desk. She turned to face her desk, white hands gripping the glass. She had yet to notice him standing frozen at the door, unsure of whether or not she'd be mad to find him there.

But then her body swayed dramatically, and her knees buckled and her hands gripped the desk, holding on for dear life. And before he even had time to comprehend the situation, he found himself behind her, arms wrapped around her thin frame to keep her upright.

She shuddered at the feel of his body pressed to the back of hers, and he leaned his nose down into her curls.

But before long, she had her hands on his arms, pushing them away, and trying to step out of his grip.

"Bones…" he whispered, his chest tightening.

"I'm fine. I just need a second."

"I'm pretty sure you almost just passed out. Let me take you home."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

They were standing face to face now, Brennan glaring and Booth looking desperate, but eyes never leaving one another's.

"Can you at least tell me who was on the phone?"

He had a hunch, and her reactions were confirming his suspicions. It wasn't a good hunch. He was sure she had to be miserable inside.

"No."

"Just let me stay here for a few minutes."

"No!" Her voice rang loud and clear across the room and out the door. He jumped the tiniest fracture of an inch backwards, hit by the power of the sound. _No._Her face finally cracked with the force of the word her composure shattered before him.

He swooped forward and took her in his arms. Everything that she had said to him that day was suddenly put aside. Her tight defenses crumbled and she collapsed in his embrace. He swayed them lightly back and fourth and soon felt her begin to sob against his chest. His mind filled with different scenarios, each more depressing than the last, of what must have been said during that phone call. Nothing could make her cry like this. His arms wrapped even tighter around her, and he buried his face in her hair, taking a deep whiff of her intoxicating aroma. How could someone be so beautiful and so sad at the same time?

They stood there, swaying, for what must have been fifteen minutes, before her sobs faded into sniffles, and her heaving chest quieted against his own. He decided to break the silence. Not knowing was killing him, and soon a string of words was escaping his lips.

"Is it that bad? You're going to be okay. We can get through this. I'll be here the whole way. Okay?"

"Booth…"

"You'll be fine, okay? I promise. Just tell me what happened. We can face anything."

"Booth, really…"

"No, it's going to be alright, alright?"

"Booth stop."

She pulled back and put her hand up to his mouth, finally managing to shut him up. When she dropped her hand he looked at her quizzically, but didn't say anything else, waiting for her.

She looked him straight in the eyes and took his face in her palm, circling her thumb over his light scruff.

"I don't have cancer."

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><p>So? What did you think? Did you like it? I sorta did. Maybe it's cause this story hits me a little close to home, or the subject does anyway.<p>

Review to tell me you liked it and/or review to tell me how to improve my writing! Either way, review! Thanks for reading(:


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